![]() Through all the risks surely there is some hope. Its then I decided that I should fight I should fight because that is what my Peanut is doing. That night I felt my baby or Peanut as we affectionately call it and in the morning we felt is heart beating away. Come back tomorrow they suggested you have been through enough today. Then i was poked and jabbed with needles. My dad joined us, again I had the risks and outcomes explained. I felt awful for weeks the thought of bringing new life into the family kept me going made us all happy and now this. My sisters where in bits in the waiting area. I told him through tears that there is a problem and you must come to the hospital. I was asked to call my dad how was innocently making his way to the restaurant, he was egar to hear what the sex of his first grandchild was. But I didn?t want it to be over!!! How can I fight this? I only lost my waters 4 days ago surely there is hope? My partner was in tears, to see him cry just felt like it was over. She explained the risks to me and the baby and that there was little hope or little that we could do. I was taken to the labour ward a doctor that I saw only weeks before said she couldn?t understand on the scan I had then everything was fine. What about the good news, where was the silver lining I kept thinking? Everyone at the hospital was just full of apologies. I did not for a second want that or think that was it. There was little to no chance of it surviving and it was made clear to me that my strongest option at this stage was termination. It was explained to me that the baby was at high risk of being underdeveloped especially in the lungs area. Neither did I know what to say, I just cried how could this be? We were all so happy and now this. I'm so sorry I don?t know what to say, I can't get a good look at the baby as its not moving. When the nurse taking the scan told me she just said I'm so sorry but it?s all gone. Then we find out that what I thought was just me having an accident Saturday night a family party whilst waiting in the queue for dinner was actually me leaking all of my amniotic fluid. I booked the day off work and it was my sisters 24th birthday which mean that we would all go to dinner after. So Let me set the scene, it has not been an easy pregnancy but the day of my 20 week Scan was to make up for it.
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